Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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