so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
