Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
