I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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