she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just invented taco cereal.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
