Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
