i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
