is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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