he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
