I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
