Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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