I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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