I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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