i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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