With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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