Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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