is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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