why didn't you poke me back
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
