her vagine was all disorganized.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
