you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
