Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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