if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
