I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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