I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
