I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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