I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
