We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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