is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
