Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
