I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
