You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
