Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
