16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
