You're my little dorito
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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