you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
