i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
