I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
