Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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