But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
