He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
