New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the night ended with taco bell and tears
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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