So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
