she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
