Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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