Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
