no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Can vaginas get frostbite?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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