absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
