It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
