I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
