Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Randomize
