Is it because I queefed?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
