I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
